I know there are hundreds of posts like this out there but I really hope someone still reads this and has some advice.

One of my girlfriends told me she was pregnant about a month ago. She got pregnant the 2nd month of trying. She knows that we are struggling with infertility and knows that we’ve had losses and have spent years trying to have a baby. She knows that we have to do fertility treatments.

Within the next week, my SIL told us she was pregnant (4th child in 5 years) and another girlfriend told me she was pregnant after the first month of trying. They also know what we’ve been through/are still going through but they haven’t reached out again since they shared the news with me.

So when each of them told me of course I was so happy for them. But I also felt SO sad for me and my husband. We want this so badly and have been through hell and back with nothing to show for it. I’m trying really hard to be supportive and have congratulated all of them but honestly, I’m just really struggling mentally. I can feel depression creeping it’s way in and I’m doing everything I can to fight it. But my friend keeps texting me wanting to talk about her pregnancy (of course she wants to talk about it- it’s wonderful!) but I am 1000% not in the headspace to have those discussions right now. I feel so selfish for even saying that, but my mental health is my priority and every time I see her name pop up on my phone now my anxiety goes through the roof. I dread even opening the text because I’m terrified it’s going to be about her pregnancy again. She’s definitely reaching out a lot more than normal and I can tell she’s fishing for me to ask her about her pregnancy.

I truly do not know what to do. I want to support them and celebrate them, but I cannot do that right now and also be whole within myself. Is it okay to tell them all that I’m happy for them but I have to get through my own shit before I can get to a place where I can openly talk about their pregnancies without dying inside? How do you even say that to someone without sounding like the worst person on the planet? 😣 This is really hard. I don’t know what to do.

(I feel like I’m going to have a lot of people telling me I need to go to counseling - I’m already doing that, don’t worry)