How did you find the strength to walk away?

Question

I’ve been with my man for over 4 years. We have one son together. My man is always so negative and always has a horrible tone of voice when he speaks to me. He thinks pretty much everything in life is pointless or boring. It’s starting to make me view life as miserable 🥺 
He has also said things like “I’m not fucking marrying you, I’ll lose everything” but no matter what I can’t leave. I feel like our son will hate me for ruining our family when he’s older. I feel like he just won’t understand how toxic it was for all of us. I’m not the easiest person to deal with by any means! I’m messy and I cry over the silliest things but I’m respectful and always use a nice tone of voice unless defending myself. 
There’s so many other things like not saying happy Mother’s Day because “fuck Mother’s Day. It’s stupid” to never kissing me or hugging me. I don’t want my son learning that it’s okay to be so negative and rude to people all of the time. I just want to be really really loved but I feel like if I leave I’m just selfish. I need reassurance & strength so bad. How do you guys do it 😭 why do I feel bad for wanting to be happy in life.

Answer

It's called take back your life and f*** what he says he's already told you he's not going to marry you.so give him the peace sign an the middle finger and go find somebody better. better for your son to see you happy and not miserable .teach your child to treat a woman better.if your son continues to see what he does he's going to think it's okay to treat women that way.

Answer

You will do more damage to your son staying with your man than leaving . 
A kid needs a happy home as he deserves one as well as you.

Answer

If you have to ask others how to leave a abusive relationship then you will never leave... Grow a backbone and stand up for yourself and don't let him control you because you both have a child together!!

Answer

It’s better if you leave now and explain later to your son. Trust me I stayed way to long trying to keep my family together so my sons could have their dad, but that was actually hurting them. I finally got the courage to leave him, file for divorce and actually be happy. Yes it broke my heart I felt so guilty and he made me feel so guilty but he wasn’t the person I fell in love with, he was a whole different person. My sons weren’t going to learn that behavior and think it’s okay.

Answer

My mum has stayed and that has fucked me more up than her leaving.
It isn't the childs responsibility to keep parents together.. it's a bad choice.
If ur happy.. he will be happy.
The only way ur son will come to resent both of u.. is how u deal with the aftermath of the split.. too many divorced couples only focus on themselves or what the other partner is doing.. when the focus should be on the child.

Answer

First of all he has issues of his own so please stop making excuses staying with a man that treats you wrong and your son comes first . Since your son comes first leave that man and let him deal with his issues and when your son is older you tell him the truth. It will only get worse from here if you stay .

Answer

Children are resilient. Many, many children don’t grow up in homes with both parents and we turn out just fine. You need to show your son that your are strong, not a doormat.

Answer

I understand it may be hard because you’re scared your kid will hate you but I promise you it’s the best thing you can do for him. My parents were divorced and let me tell you! They disliked each other and would still fight regardless of their separation. And it hurt and confused me but I never hated either one of them cause I understood they weren’t able to be together.
I saw who they were. And your kid will see his dad for who he is and he’ll understand you made the right choice.

Answer

Honestly I think for your child’s sake you do need to leave, imagine him growing up treating women the way your man treats you, I think it would probably benefit him best if you did leave and I don’t think he will be mad or resent you sometimes things don’t work out and that’s okay you need to do what’s best for you and your son

How did you find the strength to walk away?

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