My husband and I have been married for 21 years. We dated when we were very young. When our relationship first started, it was everything you could ever want it to be. We did lots of things together, and we generally enjoyed each others company. The one thing that bothers me more so now is the fact that he is not affectionate, but on the other hand he is trustworthy and is a good provider for the family. However, over the past couple of years, I feel like I am alone. I had a miscarriage a while back, and I felt like I was all alone. I understand that he works nights, but we made this baby together. So, why am I suffering alone. I ended up going to the hospital by myself while he sleep in the bed. This made me very angry because he just was not supportive of me and what I was going through. It pissed me off that he could sleep soundly while I was in so much pain. Maybe I am being selfish because he was tired and had worked all night? I tried to see it from a different prospective, but I just can't shake this animosity towards him. All of these years that we have been together, and he treats me like am a stranger. I have been through some rough times in my life, but this miscarriage took something from me. I am just emotionally scarred, my heart is broken. Then he gets upset when I tell people. He says this is no ones business and no one needs to know about it. I am supposed to keep it a secret. I told him I was by myself, and you basically dont give a damn about me or what I went through. I am not going to keep it a secret. I am not going to keep suffering in silence. He tells me that we don't need no more kids, but on the other hand, he releases himself inside of me everytime we have sex. I find it to be disrespectful and selfish. I asked him why do you keep doing that if we should not have anymore kids? He says your not going to get pregnant. I told him if it happened before it can happen again. I am at the point now that I just am not interested in sex, and I don't have sex, but may once a month if that. I simply resent him for how he is emotionally unavailable. It is truly unfortunate that our relationship has turned out like this. Anymore, I feel like we just have an arrangement, I take care of the kids and he pays the bills. I am not sure if I can continue to play my role in this relationship. I just dont feel loved, and I don't feel like I belong in this relationship. There are times when I want to walk away.