A letter

An open letter to my body:

I know we’ve had some struggles. I haven’t been very kind to you in the past. I’m so sorry for treating you the way I did.

I’m sorry that when I was 10 and saw the marks from you growing I cried for days in the middle of the night looking at you in the mirror. I’m sorry that when I was 12, I put you through our first “diet”. I’m sorry that I starved you off and on for years and years. I’m sorry I openly loathed you and hid you behind huge sweatshirts and baggy clothes. Im sorry that when I was 13 and started my period I was ashamed. I’m sorry for hating you. I’m sorry for not trusting you. I’m sorry for not listening to you. I’m sorry for not meeting your needs.

I’m sorry it took 20 something years to realize that you’re AMAZING. And I’m sorry that I think it’ll be a lifetime of fighting and remembering that you are amazing. That you’re perfectly worthy of love as you are.

Now that you’ve gone through the process of creating a new life, giving birth to an amazing little human, I can never again look at you the same. I don’t see these marks and cry. I see them and can’t help but smile. You grew so my child could grow. You changed so my child could BE. You, my beautiful body, created a new life. I’m amazed by the changes I see in you now. None of it is “unflattering” or “ugly” or needs to be hidden or changed.

I promise you I will fight and I will remember. I will treat you with respect. I will honor you. I will listen. I will love you for everything you are.

Thank you. You’re amazing.