Struggling

Hey!

I have chronic anxiety, I have depressive episodes, and sometimes suicidal when it all hits me at once. I’m ready for the pain to be gone and to be happy again. I obviously know there’s better options than acting on those thoughts. I live with my fiancé and he’s great. He honestly has saved me and is so kind to me while I’m struggling. But, I can’t ignore the fact that I am not ok. I can barely focus in college classes and I’m afraid it’s going to hold me back from what I want to do in the future. I just want to lay down all day. I do have a counselor and talking about meds soon, however I’m not excited about starting meds. Does anyone have any tips to help me?