I just think I needed to get this off my chest somewhere. My first boyfriend ever at 16, dated me for a year and 6 months, and broke up with me on my birthday. He was really mentally abusive, actually fucked girls while we were together and called me possessive, a liar, and that I wasn’t someone anyone could love.

I know this is odd but I wanted to right about the red flags I should look out for in the future. Don’t date someone who says they could have fucked all of their friends if you weren’t there. Don’t date someone who leaves you on seen for hours. Don’t date someone who tells you don’t flirt with them. Don’t date someone who says don’t say I love you anymore. I am really hurt about this person, but I know I’m worth more than anything he could have done for me. I don’t get panic attacks anymore, I don’t get scared of driving anymore and I’m just thinking about a better future.

So what did my ex do that was so abusive? Well he rapped me. He told me that it was something I wanted and I shouldn’t tell my parents. He would go around with his friends who would cyber bully me. Even though I’ve known him longer than these people did, they would cyber bully me into almost committing suicide and I got called a liar for it. I got called so many mean things, I got told that the reason he was unfaithful was because of my appearance. The thing is I am beautiful, I have always been beautiful. This mother fucker has the gul to tell me to grow up, that I’m a possessive person because I told the girl he was fucking on the side to stop cyber bullying me. I stood up for myself and then found out everything.

The good news is I am getting to be myself, I’m no longer anxious and I only think for myself. I’ve gotten to go on an actual date with someone who I think likes me. He makes me happier than anything and every time I see his dumb face, I smile. To me he is someone who is hard working and trustworthy. I’ve just, I have never been scared to open up to him. I really hope he’s a better guy, I’ve just always has dumb arguments with him where we both laugh at the end. I really like this guy, I just don’t want a repeat which is why I’m scared to have another. I really just want to be happy, and he makes me happy.