How do I motivate my jobless, semi lazy boyfriend of 5 years?

Question

I love him to death but lately I haven’t had the patience I normally have. I think it’s part me and part him. I just do not know. 
In January he quit his job to do a training session for sheet metal (Yes he could have transferred positions and instead of taking day classes for 4 weeks he would have had to taken 8 weeks of night classes and worked part time - but still would have had a job) but I still supported him. Then we moved forward and got a house bc we were living in his moms house for 2 years. Market was great so we went for it. We’ve been living in our new house and haven’t fully finished unpacking. I work About 50 hours a week and still have to cook & clean most day. Then he did find a job (making decks) which uses him as he needed. There is no security in it. He doesn’t work over time. He works 35 hours tops and yet the only thing I can 100% count on him doing is the laundry once in a while. I feel he rarely does dishes but he feels he does them often. I just wish he was more proactive! 
I don’t know if maybe I’m being a bitch and should let it go and cut him some slack. Am I justified? How do I Motive him? I actually am less mad at him not finding a job... I’m more mad that I’ve been traveling for work and I asked him to reglue these chairs and I’ll do it tomorrow and tomorrow has yet to come. Idk I believe in giving people chances... I know he’s been depressed and feeling like shit but he isn’t looking to expand his horizon. I want to make this work but I don’t know how to not get annoyed when I am working from home and he is playing video games. He could be changing light fixtures, scraping the door frame, spray painting, hanging up the swing... I mean there’s So Much More home Projects I could that he could invest his time on.
Please help!

Answer

As hard as it sounds might be time to re-evaluate the relationship or a break. You seem like you have already been holding his hand like a toddler. Instead of temporary jobs how about he find a 9-5 something with a more dependable income. It was already very irresponsible for him to quit his job to take metal classes when you said he could if just worked part time and did night classes. Time to put your foot down.

Answer

I don’t understand how there are so many women on this app with jobless boyfriends/husbands? Like doesn’t
That play a factor when you first meet them? Why are y’all choosing these bums 🤢

Answer

He clearly has no ambition. What’s his life plan? Is he going to be doing manual labor when he is 70, trying to make enough food money? Rent money? Ick
Just ick
No thanks. That is a loser. Get a real man who has ambition and goals. A man who uses each job to learn as much as he can before applying for a better job and learning there. Every job should be a stepping stone to something better. When I left my ex husband he was making 40k a year as a potato chip delivery guy delivering to grocery stores. He had no ambition to do better. He refused to put into 401k. After I left he even started working less and clears 35k a year now. (This is not why I left him that is something different)
My husband I am married to now was making 40k when I met him. He used that job to get one making 65k. Then one making 90k. And then one making 130k. He provides for his family. He and I purchased a great house in a great neighborhood of a wonderful city. My life now is so much better than it was trying to get by with my ex. I’m not saying to go for a man with money, and I am not a gold digger (I worked up until this year) but I am saying you should want more from a LIFE PARTNER than some loser who can’t hold down a job, who doesn’t take pride in his home, who lets you do everything while he sits back being a lazy fuck. You can do better.

Answer

Make him a list and have him check something off daily.

Answer

Tell him it upsets you to see him putting less effort into the house than you are when you clearly work more and have more to do. 
Then ask if he thinks he can manage three chores or home projects a day, and when he bitches ask if he can at least complete one and get halfway through another for the duration of the time you continue to work so much more than he does because you need to be a team and you can’t do this with him only taking responsibility for the dishes here and there. 
If he tried to fuss about that then tell him even if he did the dishes every day, your work would still not be equal in the home, and that’s not even considering outside of the home. 
Ask for a commitment and for that commitment to include not putting every off til after dark.

How do I motivate my jobless, semi lazy boyfriend of 5 years?

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