We’ve been married for three years, together for four years. From the day we wed, we’ve struggled on and off in our marriage. Neither of us is perfect, but I am still actively trying, and I don’t feel that my husband is. He is emotionally distant, won’t have a civilized conversation with me that doesn’t involve raising voices, he is overly defensive and angry at everything, he drinks when we fight and then gets more angry because he’s drinking, he ignores me for an entire day sometimes, he lies about the small things and expects me to believe him about the big things, and on and on. So I’ve been trying to get him to go to marriage counseling for the past three years, and he finally agreed. We went to one session and he left mad at the counselor because the counselor basically told my husband that it was his childhood traumas (my husband shared his entire life story in 45 minutes, I barely got a word in) that were causing him to behave disrespectfully in our marriage. Because of that, my husband said “f*** that, there’s nothing wrong with me!” And now he refuses to go back to marriage counseling. I cannot continue to live like this. I am so exhausted emotionally. I’m constantly worrying about if/what he’s lying about. I don’t trust my husband anymore, and I feel like if he doesn’t commit to marriage counseling, then I can no longer stay in our marriage. Is it wrong of me to give him this ultimatum?