Scared of future pregnancies - advice?

Hey ladies. I’m 4 months postpartum and am scared of the IDEA of having a second pregnancy. I am not pregnant but I do wanna have another kid or two in the future. I had a wonderful pregnancy and great natural birth but the recovery was hard. My second degree tear took a long time to heal and I still don’t feel normal. The thought of being pregnant again and pushing another baby out just makes me feel like everything would fall out 😂 Will I ever feel normal again? Is it still normal to feel this way? When does that feeling go away? Any ways to help?? Thanks in advance 😊