Venting

I am soo depressed I am currently about 6 weeks pregnant & i ordered some abortion pills from aid access about 2 weeks ago & they still haven’t arrived or moved in about 5 days.. I have a 1 year old already & was not expecting another one!! I barely have sex with my child’s fathers nowadays even though we live together! Maybe 5 times a month!! So you know I wasn’t expecting this!! I am so sad all the time I don’t want to have another baby for him! He doesn’t treat me right anymore & doesn’t care about my feelings!! Side note: when I found out I was pregnant I told him immediately I wanted to abort & he agreed & we were to come up with half($325) which would pay for the abortion pills.. I came up with mine quickly even though I have NO JOB! Once the appointment came up he told me I would have to be a grown up about it & pay for it myself & now I just feel like a bum or whatever a woman shouldn’t feel about herself!! I need other options I am so broke & I thought aid access was good since I read so many reviews but it’s taking forever & I feel it’s not gonna come in time I just know it!! I don’t even know what to say! I’m gonna feel bad about not keeping it but I’ll feel even worse if I do! I’m so depressed if I didn’t have a child already I’d just end it all!!