Can anyone relate... I just feel so awful 😩

Let me preface this by saying I am going to talk to the pediatrician next Monday at our appointment. I just need to talk things out now, especially with some other moms.

Background- my oldest is 3.5. She has a younger brother (1.5) and younger sister (12 weeks). Pre-covid she was going to daycare daily and was the youngest of the toddler group. She’s been home with me since then. We’ve had a few outdoor play dates because she is a social butterfly. In June we moved. Then in July her baby sister was born. She showed regression with potty training and thumb sucking. I know that was a lot of change all at once. My husband and I spend one on one time with her every day, I try to include her with taking care of the baby, and I started a preschool curriculum with her.

She has been absolutely horrible lately. She has been hitting and kicking when she doesn’t get her way. She has been screaming and yelling at my husband and I non stop. She ran away from me twice on walks because she didn’t get her way. We try peaceful parenting but it involves consequences- “calm down time,” loss of privileges, and re-dos. I follow through/ when I say something, it happens (you need to stay on the path. If you walk off the path you’re going in the stroller). I started a behavior chart so she can work to earn rewards.

She is mimicking her younger brother. He takes his shoes off, she does. He drinks water, she does. He used his fingers to eat peas, she does (even though she can totally use a fork). Her table manners are so disgusting because she tries to act like him.

I’m so worried about her behavior. It’s rude, nasty, unsafe, and disgusting. I love her to pieces, but right now I dread spending time with her. I don’t like how I feel about her- I feel angry and annoyed. And that makes me feel like an awful mom.

Three questions:

does this behavior seem developmentally and age appropriate GIVEN the changes she has gone through. Or is there a behavioral issue?

Has anyone else felt this way about their child? I feel so so awful for feeling so negatively towards her.

Has anyone taken the parenting course offered by BigLittleFeelings from instagram?

Thanks for reading.