what should i do

Question

so my daughter is 5 months & im currently 13 weeks with another baby which I just found out 2 weeks ago .. my bf says its not a good idea because we just had a baby and it may be alot but i feel as if he shudnt have a say so because he is careless during sex and we both are responsible which im ok with having the baby he says it may be too much and everyone may judge us smh I know its my decision but how would u ladies feel I feel like im having a baby he dont want and it was not like this with our 1st he was super happy.. im more upset that he makes a choice to get me pregnant then when it happens he is scared and think it is a bad idea

Answer

Takes two people to get pregnant not one careless person

Answer

I mean.. maybe he is feeling overwhelmed with a new baby. It’s a huge life change and it’s stressful. He has a right to feel that way

Answer

Keep the baby. If he don't like it then leave him. At the point it's your choice.

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i assume from the "careless sex" statement that neither of you suggested using protection when this happened. both you and him knew it was a direct possibility. i think this decision lies soley to you now because it is your body. of course you should consider your ability to care for a second child so quickly after your first but again its up to your assessment of the situation. IF you both agreed to use protection and STILL got pregnant then I would listen to your partner and his wishes more closely.

Answer

When my oldest was 2 months old I was pregnant again so no judgment here. That pregnancy ended in loss but got pregnant again when he was 7 months old and everything was fine. They both were in diapers and I eventually potty trained them together. 
They are 14 months apart and I would prefer if I kept that timeframe or had the rest of my kids 2 years apart. To me it’s easier in the long run because since they were both boys stuff never went to waste. And now they wear same size clothes and shoes. For me it’s like shopping for twins at this point I just buy same pants and switch shirts and they can rotate what they like.

Answer

I feel like you both knew what could happen when you had careless sex so he can’t force you to do anything but it’s also both of your choice on whether you continue the pregnancy or not and that you also can’t force him to be a father to a child he doesnt want. This is why safe sex is so important!

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MAYBE U SHOULD BE SMART DURING SEX 🙄

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Keep your own baby, you will be happy to see her/him 13 weeks is full human with everything. Ignore him period

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You need to chat and have a serious chat with him. If he wasn’t ready then he should’ve worn protection, you also should’ve been on the same
Page about having another baby.  I know it can happen even if people are careful etc but he might feel like he had no choice. Just talk things through, no one will care about when you have another baby or how close. It can be hard and will cost more for nappies etc and having formula but it’s so able. Be understanding of his feelings but also don’t get made to do something you don’t want to.

Answer

Having a baby is a big transition in a relationship, and there is a chance that he just isn’t feeling very confident as a parent yet, but it will come and you guys will figure it out. If he bails on your relationship/family it won’t be because of a second child, it will be because he couldn’t cope with being a dad in any way. From the way you write, I get the sense that you already love and want the baby, and that is literally all you need to know. 
Two out of my three kids are the result of failed birth control (no shame here!), and I love them all equally and can’t imagine life without one of them. I definitely had worries and stress at the unplanned pregnancy when it was early, but that fades and then you have a lifetime with your child. Each child comes with challenges, but the hard parts are ALWAYS far less then the joy.

what should i do

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