Help! I feel terrible

I have a non molestation order in place because of my babydad trying to run me my mom and son over. Anyway, it’s been 3 weeks, he got bail, they didn’t even ring to update us about that so if he was to come to my house I would’ve been non the wiser. In my eyes, they failed me from there.

Also, due to him trying to run us over and then assaulting me my friend came out and basically punched my babydad once so my babydad went at him with something from his car and got put to the floor.

I told them that he didn’t have a fight with anyone, however because my babydad said names they was going to have a look at cctv and said that my babydad had broken ribs. This means he could’ve got them charged for GBH.

Because of this I have been stressing so much! I didn’t want my friends to go to jail for defending me and my family! It’s already hard enough the fact my child’s father did that to us. Not just me, my son and my mother aswell! Also when things have to be taken to court it gets my anxiety going really bad which is why I’ve always ended up dropping charges.

Anyway, today I have dropped the charges because my anxiety has been through the roof!

Does this mean that my mums and sons have been dropped? I don’t want theirs to be dropped I want him to go to jail. He deserves it he really does I just can’t be the person that puts him away, my son would hate me. I would hate me because I know for a fact my baby father would kill himself if he ended up inside for long. I feel terrible as he really does deserve to be in a cell because he’s a horrendous person but I can’t deal with all the anxiety, the stress, the upset, the constant indecisiveness, the heartache. I’d rather him just stay far away from me and my family and my son. I will never ever be going back to him ever. He is not a dad. He is scum.

He has also been abusive in the past towards me and has threatened to kill our son once and acid attack him twice. That is why he isnt allowed by our son and why I stopped seeing him in may and he hasn’t seen our son since then.