As my birthday approaches I relieze that now even as an adult I’ve been cutting for 10yrs. And the thing is I’m very good at it or as good as you can be for a cutter I learned very quickly how to hide it, how deep to cut to not scar, how make cuts heal faster etc. I’ve never even had anyone see them before or atleast they’ve never said anything if they have . But it’s to the point that now any strong feeling wether it’s happiness,sadness,stress or whatever the only way I can release it is by cutting. I’ve lied about it to parents, friends, doctors anyone who’s ever mentioned or asked if I’ve ever cut before. I tried a year ago telling one psychiatrist and it took me 30 min try to even speak the words verbally out of my mouth and when I finally did he blew me off as being dramatic and said I’d grow out of it. Like ummm it’s been 10yrs and the longest I’ve gone without self harming activity even if not cutting was a month so idk if growing out of it is an option at this point. And it’s literally so hard for me to actually speak about I can’t tell anyone in my life and I can’t get a therapist so idk what to do but I don’t want to enter another year of my life doing this shit I’ve tried everything ive read online and other then keeping busy nothing helps

-Sorry this was so long ty if you made it to the end