Hi Ladies,

This is going to be slightly long winded so I do apologise. I've been lying awake wondering who I could ask for an opinion. So basically my husband and I have moved to the UK last year. My family lives in Ireland, his in South Africa. We miss family a lot naturally. Two years ago we lived with my parents and siblings for two months while trying to find our feet. I have a big family and it ended in arguments. My mum was also having a hard time dealing with empty nest syndrome. I'm her baby and she had a hard time readjusting when it was no longer just her and I hanging out going for coffee as I would bring my SO with us. So we moved out very abruptly as the arguments were getting ridiculous between my mum and I. Two years on we have made up and are closer than ever. We have been back to visit a few times and all is good. On the other hand when we go visit South Africa my Father in law and I clash badly. We went on a 5 day safari with him and I almost wanted to kill him!! He's selfish and speaks to my SO like a child. again we have visited since and I make the effort bite my tongue etc etc. OK!!! So here's my predicament. My grandad who lost his wife (my granmy) back in July has asked if he can pay for me and my SO to fly back to Dublin for Christmas this year. I mentioned it to my SO and he was negative and listed a whole bunch of reasons why we shouldn't. "It will be expensive" "the house will be too crowded" I just feel that if the tables were reversed and if it was his family he would jump.at the chance. I would love to be there to hug my mum on Christmas day and help her through her first Christmas without having her mum there and likewise with my grandad. I have tried to say this to my SO but he doesn't get it? I don't know if I'm being selfish??