LEAVE ME ALONE. Stop telling me I'm special. Stop talking about all the potential that I have. Stop saying that I have so much to offer. Just STOP.

I'm not special. I'm not destined for greatness. I'm not living some amazing life. I'm barely making it on a daily basis. I barely have the motivation to even clean my room or eat. There's nothing special about me. I'm barely even average if that.

I'm convinced that you all only tell me that so I don't feel bad about myself but honestly it just makes me feel worse. I feel like a fucking failure. A complete loser. I've wasted my life doing nothing. All my plans and dreams that I thought I was working for have been for nothing. I don't even have hopes and dreams anymore.

I'm sorry that I'm not where you all thought I would be by now in life. Trust me, no one is more disappointed than me.

Stop asking me what my plans for the future are!!! I don't fucking know. Currently all I see is darkness in my future so excuse me for being "lazy" for not working harder. It's a little hard to be motivated when I don't see the point in anything. I'm trying my best.

I'm sorry that my best seems like the bare minimum but that's all I can offer right now. I know there are people who have it worse than me. I know I'm very lucky to be where I am and have what I have. But I'm trying so hard not to just give up altogether. I'm hanging on as long as I can. Sorry. If that makes me dramatic or weak or childish then I guess that's what I am. I really do wish I could be better. I wish I could be more like my brother who has it all together and is doing amazing and everyone loves. I guess at least one kid had to draw the short end of the stick....

Some of yall need to just not even say anything at all. Fighting the feeling that life is not even worth it is not a "pity party" or me just whining 😒