MIL is no good

She is not well. I can only guess “narcissistic personality disorder” (to keep this story short.) She’s 66 and her IG is full of selfies in mini skirts and duck lips. She’s torpedoed her finances and relationships. She looks down on the less fortunate. She thinks only wealthy people are good enough for her. She is seriously making motions to move across the country to live in our town. Says it’s all she can afford and she won’t be a burden. Just wants to be with her grandchildren. She is saying the right things but she is selfish, needy, and unstable. She controlled my wedding, the first week of my sons life, and I can’t let her move here and my DH is clearly unable to tell her “no.” It’s hard enough on us emotionally to receive her phone calls about how she’s ruined her life. I can imagine the strain on my family and marriage if she is only down the street. I bled for 3 months after the first baby because her visit was so taxing. Why does she think it’s appropriate to burden us with what feels like a threat during this pregnancy. It feels harsh to tell her I basically don’t want her. I’m sure I’d find the right words but they will sting. I feel like if I keep my tongue tied like I always have, my family will suffer and I will forever have a grudge toward my DH who will not hurt his mother to protect us.

I think she should go create her own joy in life, and discontinue her pattern of following others until their relationships die of toxicity. Her current physical distance is what allows us to have any peace.

Thank you for reading. I’ve got to find a way to change her mind. I want to enjoy my babies 😢