Sent a message to a family friend about my life how it’s hard but I’m learning lots about myself... They replied that I sounded mature like have grown and bloomed. In reality I have had a low mood almost more often than not lately and it has been hard to motivate myself to eat 3 meals a day (let alone actually cook food to eat), I had the worse panic attack of my life last night and the friend I made plans with to chat today instead asked if I wanted to play soccer with a few coworkers of ours then talk after and we never ended up talking after. But my reaching out the worse I’ve been able to share with people back home is that I’m lonely/ homesick and dislike grocery shopping so put it off too long.