Kiddo Help

I am a step mom to a 3 year old girl and 5 year old boy.

I’m not sure what to do to improve their behavior. They’re very aggressive, demanding, and don’t listen no matter how many times you tell them something or how many treats or promises you offer. I’m at a loss for what to try at this point, routines don’t seem to make a difference & they bounce between our house, their grandparents & their moms house so much it’s hard to keep everyone on the same page with the kids.

They’re also extremely co dependent (more so the boy than the girl, example; slip on shoes, he freaks out says he can’t do it himself and needs daddy to put his socks and shoes on but 3 y/o sister can do it all on her own.) & clingy. Which obviously children have an attachment to parents but it just feels like it’s a bit much.