Micro cheating or??

Question

UPDATE * he intentionally did it hoping I would see to hurt my feelings because feelings need to be hurt sometimes for relationships to be woken 
That’s what he said 
I was going on YouTube to look at a video and I  forgot my boyfriends YouTube account was logged  into mine. When I first opened it it had a girls YouTube video that said what I eat in a day as a model or whatever and I look to the left and it shows he’s subscribed to her. Then I saw he comments on a few of her stuff. Now he has never sent me red hearts or called me special and rare and unique. It honestly hurt my feelings to know he would publicly address he’s in a relationship yet comment that kind of stuff on this girls YouTube. I also saw he was hearting her “business page” on Facebook her photos too. She’s not too well know, does have a decent 4.41K following or something on YouTube but she lives in the UK literally across the globe from us.. am I just being insecure or what? I haven’t said anything or brought it up to him. I’ve tried in subtle ways but he says I’m being over exaggerating and under exaggerating when I said he doesn’t heart any of my stuff I send but he does for everyone else.

Accepted Answer

Id be fuming mad especially the whole message about opening up his eyes to the type of woman he should be dating.

Answer

I don’t think it’s cheating but I think it’s a red flag for possibly cheating in the future and just kinda desperate and weird.

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I’m fine with everything except for the comment about her being the type of person he should be dating which to me would imply that you’re not. I think you need to have a serious conversation and explain how this is making you self conscious in your relationship with him. I guess I would feel like if he met someone IRL with these values he’d be okay with leaving for them. If he’s starting to feel that his values don’t align with yours and you are hoping for a long term commitment with him, this discussion should be had anyway before you both waste your time. I also have to say if he’s commenting on a public space and you’re seeing it, you’re not snooping or prying. It’s been said, your feelings are valid, and in any relationship people should be able to communicate about these things that are upsetting to them.

Answer

Personally, this isn’t cheating and I cannot imagine being hurt by comments my partner made on YouTube, or going through to look at what he’s commenting on YouTube. Idk what microcheating is, but cheating in general is whatever you and your partner discuss and agree is cheating. If y’all never agreed that commenting on a YouTube channel was cheating, then it’s not. Sounds like the two of you need to have a conversation

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The only thing that would bother me in this is him saying that it opened his eyes on the type of woman he should be dating. Would make me feel like I am not what he is looking for and wants more... I would definitely bring it up to him and talk about it...

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It's bs.
You don't hurt someone intentionally to "flare up the relationship"
Hurt is always bad.
Hurt is always damaging to a relationship.

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He’s definitely over stepping boundaries. Talk to him and tell him how you feel or it will never get solved and you’ll just grow more resentful and worried with anxiety.

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Not cheating, but what does he mean opened his eyes for the type of woman he should be dating?? Is that not you? That’s shady as hell and I’d be pissed.

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He isn’t cheating. It seems like he is def rethinking you guys' relationship.

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This isn’t cheating but I would feel like he’s settling for me and I wouldn’t put up with that. I’m uniquely me and if he doesn’t feel like I’m special I’ll go be special alone or with someone who will appreciate me as I am. Sounds like he was making excuses to save himself from what he said. My husband and past partners I’ve dated would not say something about “the type of woman they should be dating” while they are with me.

Micro cheating or??

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