I just need to rant and let it out.

So my boyfriend caught covid last week. He still lives with his parents and they all had it. His mum is ok but now his dad is at the hospital. It’s not too bad, it’s not too good. We’re just waiting to see how he fights it.

This have been very hard for all of us. I live by myself because I came here to study and stayed, currently working already. My family leaves very very far from here so I’m completely on my own. I have no friends because... well, life. It’s have been crazy trust me. So the only person I see is my boyfriend.

He’s quarantined at home, I’m completely alone in my house, and he’s very worried about his dad. So I am the emotional support for everything. He has to deliver some important stuff for future work this week, so I’ve been video calling him and help him writing it. I’ve been in videocall for the whole day so he doesn’t feel lonely, and continuously giving him support. Saying helpful things, looking for info about his dad treatment... Turning on the computer the moment I wake up so he can videocall.

I love him so much and would do anything for him but I feel wasted. I’ve been completely alone for a long time now. Work worries me a lot as I haven’t worked anything (my boss says it’s all right and take care of him but still). I miss human contact. I’m so tired of repeating the same on the videocall and the silence of not knowing if the dad will come back home, and I feel so guilty for being tired.

And I also have the feeling he never would do for my what I’m doing for him. He had show me so many times that his work is more important that I am. I’m confused. I just feel so wasted.

For the record, we’ve been together for 5 years and a half.