Priorities, sorry it's long

I'm not sure what to do anymore, it feels like the kids and I are my husband's last priority. Work or friends always seems to come first. He gets pissed when having to help around the house or get up with the kids. He made me spend my birthday with his friends with out asking me, he won't help with planning our big wedding ceremony (I even knocked it down to put him in charge of 3 things and he's mad that he can't be in charge of more, but while I have done everything else he hasn't even done 1 of those things and we have been planning for almost a year), he switches shifts and requests days off for his friends, but for me, there has to be a funeral for him to even try. He refused to request off our anniversary then when we finally found a day to celebrate, he made me go with and sit in the car while he had to run into work for what was supposed to be an hour then turned into 3, we missed our dinner reservations. He gets all pissy if I ask him to watch the kids so I can do anything even tho I always watch them for him, and when I go places or spend time with friends I have to take them with me. He makes me feel like he doesn't care or doesn't think we are important enough. No matter how many times I tell him, he says sorry, changes for a day or a week then is back at it. I just don't know how to get him to hear me or think of how is actions will affect me and how he's hurting me. Everytime I try to talk to him he won't get off his phone, he just sits there scrolling through Facebook and when I ask him to stop he just tells me I talk too much