I’m really trying to be okay, it’s officially been one year. 12 months of trying. 365 days of praying. It’s been emotionally very hard to just accept that it has not happened, and not looking like it will. My doctor is not much help, last month was too busy to do my hsg test, sounds like he doesn’t know what to even offer me. 9 failed rounds of letrozole, a PCOS diagnosis, sperm is perfectly fine. I’m just at a loss and I want to be okay with not having another child. I know it will eventually probably happen, but how do I be okay with it not happening any time soon? How do I stop thinking about it?

Every time I open social media someone else is pregnant. Someone else is able to get their happiness. I know people try for years, but how? I feel so defeated. Every month I say I’m done, I give up, but when my period is about due I just can’t stop wondering and end up testing. I’m just heart broken.

All I want is to give my SO a child and enjoy our life with another addition and it is so hard.