Husband came in me without consent now I’m pregnant

Currently 16 weeks pregnant with a baby I don’t want to have. Here’s the story.

At the time we had an almost 12 month old toddler. Ever since after I had my baby I’ve been very vocal with everyone in our family that I didn’t want anymore kids. If I was to have another baby I wanted my oldest to be at least 4-5.

With my daughter I suffered silently with PPD for her entire first year and things were just looking up. I new that I could not mentally handle having another baby. I had never been on birth control so I didn’t know how my body would respond while breastfeeding my baby. So me and my husband both agreed to wait until she was 1 until I would get on BC just because I didn’t want my milk to dry up before then.

So one day my husband and I were having sex and towards the end he’s asking me if he can cum in me. I’m telling him not to repeatedly. TMI I’m on top and he holds me down and comes in me anyway after I said not to! Since I breastfeed my baby my periods were only coming once every other month so I wasn’t sure if I was ovulating. Immediately after I get upset with him and tell him he needs to go buy me a Plan B first thing in the morning because I’m not trying to get pregnant again and he says he will. So the next day rolls around.. no plan b. I tell him again to go buy one and he doesn’t. I tell him everyday until I know it isn’t effective anymore to buy me one. I’m a SAHM so at that time I didn’t have any money to buy one. He tells me why does it matter you won’t get pregnant anyway.

A month later I have a dream that I’m pregnant, I take an extra test that I have laying around and it comes up positive! I tell my husband a few days later because we have company over that weekend. He’s OVERJOYED! Smiling ear to ear and in my head I’m thinking oh this is exactly what you wanted to happen. I wasn’t happy about being pregnant and I’m still not at 16 almost 17 weeks.

We get into an argument a few months later because i found things in his phone that he was lying to me about. I had the proof in my hand and he was still lying to my face. I tell him I want a divorce this relationship is over I’m not going to be married to someone who’s been lying our whole marriage. In this argument I asked him why he never bought the plan B since he knew like everyone else that I didn’t want to be pregnant again. He tells me that he WANTED me to get pregnant because I was making it seem like we would never have another kid.

So now I’m forced to be pregnant and have a baby I still don’t want. I got over PPD just to have depression my whole pregnancy. He leaves me w out toddler all day and doesn’t come home most days until it’s almost her bed time or she’s already sleep. He had the nerve to ask me a few weeks ago would I love our new baby as much as I love our oldest. And this really pissed me off because i shouldn’t even have to be in this situation. He also told me that getting a divorce would break up our family and that would be my fault. Now I think was what he did some form of sexual assault? How do I raise a child I don’t want? And how do I prepare for having PPD with 2 kids under 2? Idk what to do and if it wasn’t for my daughter I would probably kill myself after having this baby because even though I don’t want it I also don’t want to hurt him. How do I move forward?

*********Edit: I didn’t buy a plan b because I don’t have money and I don’t live around any family, he is in the military. I didn’t have an abortion because he is pro life and wouldn’t let me.

Someone said I shouldn’t have put fertility into his hands and I agree in hindsight. But pulling out is what we had been doing the whole time after I had my first baby. It wasn’t an accident he planned it and told me so. He knew I would be getting on BC after my baby turned 1 so he knew this was his only opportunity. I do plan on divorcing after I have the baby. And I don’t blame the baby at all he didn’t ask to be here.

I just hate myself at the end of the day. You should be able to trust your partner to go with the plan you have both agreed too.

I agree he is controlling in more aspects than just this and I see that now thanks to everyone’s comments.

And thank you to everyone answering if it is sexual assault or not. I wasn’t sure since I consented to sex in the first place but repeatedly told him not to cum in me. I think some people are forgetting that he held me down by my hips while I was on top and came in me. I really do thank everyone with kind words and advice! I’m just trying to take this one day at a time.