*chapstick added for scale*

SO- What is that?

ME- what, that? Oh, its mine. Why? Do you think it's a sex toy?

SO- ...I was wondering...

ME- well, yes it is 😀 and the thing is, I actually got it for you ☺️

*cue me mimicking inserting said object while overacting attempting to be sexy😂 (he isn't into butt Play AT ALL.)

SO- ...😮

ME- I'm kidding🙂 what do you think it is?

SO- ...um, is it one of those douche things 🤢

ME- Nope😆 keep guessing

At this point he decides he wants to touch it, so he reaches for the tip and I say real quietly under my breath "ehhh, he's gonna touch the tip" and he quickly withdraws his hand 😂

SO- hmm, is it a snot sucker?

ME- 🤔...for a giant? No.

SO- i give up. What is it?

ME- It's the pump to my yoga ball 😁