self identity in a relationship...

my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year and a half.

i feel like i love him so much that i don’t love myself. like i’m too consumed by him that i leave none for me.

he’s so good to me and i don’t want to not be with him.

i feel like i’m at a young age where i’m figuring out who i am, what i like, who i wanna be. he’s 10 years older than me, he’s got his own identity. he’s got more figured out than i do. he’s gone through this growth stage. i feel like i’m in the midst of developing mine, but being in a relationship hinders that.

but i don’t want to not be in this relationship.

how do i find me? how do i know me? how do i hold on to myself? all while being in this relationship.

i look at myself and i hate everything that i am. it didn’t used to be like this. it’s been like this for the past 3-4 months. i hate the way i look, the way i talk, the way i handle things, view things.

i just want to be my own person. i want to be me. and i want to love who i am.