my s/o and i go 1-2 months between having sex and it honestly has me super down. we've talked about, i've explained that it just makes me feel insecure that he doesn't want me in that way but will jerk off throughout the week, and all i've gotten in response is "well you bringing it up makes me insecure too".

i've come to him honestly & without attacking him every time and told him that sex is an important part of a relationship for me and that i don't love him any less... but that after a year it's starting to really bother me. the first 8 months together it wasn't like this at all, we had frequent good sex. after that it turned into 45 seconds-3 minute sessions with no lead up, no excitement, and nothing for me afterwards even though i suck him off every time and make sure he gets everything he wants.

before him i always had a frequent, regular sexual partner. it's what i'm use to and what i like, in or out of a relationship. but also touch is 100% my love language, and as much as i value hand holding, cuddling, tickles, i value sex. it's just gotten hard when there's no change after we've discussed it so many times. yes i've talked to him about whether it's his mental state, but he says whether he's at a good point or a bad point he's just flat out not wanting to.