How to stop husband from yelling at me

Ok so we both have our issues, but I’m really trying here to work on myself. I’m in therapy and I’m on medication, my childhood was abusive and I left home at 18 and don’t speak to my mom or brother. My dad is passed away. So I really have no one to turn to.

My husband yells at me a lot. Like full on screaming matches, for no real reason. He’s never physically hit me but he will hit the bed or couch beside of me, and he’s broken several of my things throughout the years. One time he put his hands on my neck but hasn’t done that since.

I just want the version of my husband everyone else gets. I’m trying to learn his triggers so I don’t provoke him. But there’s something about me that just triggers him. I have severe anxiety but it’s mostly when I’m having an anxiety attack or he’s been drinking. As I mentioned, my anxiety being treated.

Talking to him about it doesn’t help, he says he never said these horrible things. For years I really thought my memory was bad or I was hallucinating.

I can’t talk to anyone about this irl, they know him as this amazing nice guy and they won’t believe me. His mom is a terrible woman but when she yells at him, he just takes it. Or if someone is being rude to him, he doesn’t yell back. Yet if I’m having a lot of anxiety I get screamed at and told I’m a pussy for leaving my abusive mom’s house (he claims he never said that).