Emotional break down

Megan
So we have been trying for a few months now and on Thursday I had one little wipe worth of brownish mucusy blood and then the same on Saturday except it was a little more pink. I am due to start on Thanksgiving....I thought what I was having was implantation bleeding. Am I just freaking out too early because it was negative? Plus look how faint the negative line is...does anyone else find that odd? I don't know what to think about all of this. I have cried for the past hour because I am so confused to why can't it just happen? Especially after the tell tale signs of implantation bleeding. Please ladies, I need opinions on what you think I should do or your experiences like mine and the outcome? I just need something to hold onto. I'm just seriously heartbroken 😔