Missing Persons? Help! I don’t even know...

Where to begin?

My brother in law was supposed to travel from upstate NY, where he has been at the family cabin, to visit us, in Kansas. He was supposed to arrive the 20th, and spend a few weeks here until taking his licensing exam. He has made this drive many, many times. He always drives he 20 hours straight.

The first day, he stopped in PA. It didn’t seem like he made it very far, but we weren’t alarmed or anything. I spent all day cleaning, shopping for things he would need, and just preparing for his stay.

At 8:30PM he speaks to my husband and says he will arrive around 2AM. At 10:00 I text him and he responds. I assume he is still driving at that point.

We go to bed, he never arrives. 🤦‍♀️ I wake up to a call from his mom, wondering if he ever arrived. I told her I don’t think so, as he never called to be let in the house. At this point we assume he got tired and stopped.

All day long, we text and call. No response. By 7:30PM we are a little concerned. His mom says she spoke to him at 2:00AM and he was just arriving in KS. I have no confirmation of this.

It should be noted he does this. He lived with us for a year and would often disappear and go do drugs for a few days and then show up back home.

He isn’t in any of the area jails. I have no idea if he is truly in KS though. He is a 47 year old man with no actual home, driving a two seater Mercedes with a large pit bull and a cat as companions.

Obviously we are concerned for his safety. His drug of choice is crack, and who knows where he went looking for it.

I’m still assuming he is okay. We don’t want to call the police too soon, as I believe he does have a warrant out in KS. Obviously, we want to know he is okay first and foremost.

BUT...assuming he is okay...

I am PISSED. I feel completely disrespected. He has really betrayed me in the past. It took a lot for me to come around to welcoming him and his animals into my home. I did my best to play the nice hostess. Now he is out doing God only knows. I don’t really want him here for at least Thanksgiving.

Is that unreasonable? I am 30 weeks pregnant, and my mom has a weakened immune system. She is high risk if she gets COVID. If we hear from him, he will just say he shacked up with some chick. He won’t tell us the truth. Our Thanksgiving is very small...just my husband, my daughter, me, my mom, and him. I can’t in good conscience put my mom at risk. It’s one thing to accept the risk myself, but I won’t risk her. I feel like his selfishness has put us in an impossible position.

I know my husband wants him around for Thanksgiving. I feel bad. But my mom doesn’t go anywhere, and she was really looking forward to Thanksgiving. So many times, my brother in law’s selfishness has ruined things for our family.

If he shows up win KS, so I send him away? Do I tell him to come back after thanksgiving?

There’s just so much to this. Please help me make sense of it all. 🤦‍♀️