i really don’t know (read, don’t read. i have school in 3 hours so yea)

i’m 16 and i want to be in a relationship no matter what i do, it’s like i’m not meant to be in one. i have almost been in one but i had to ruin the friendship. he was a funny person but when talking to me he lost all his humor and also he had like 3 diff girlfriends when talking to me. i tried to become his friend again but nope he was just too negative. i tried to talk to a guy i like and we had a short conversation but then he never responded again. i know he saw it bc he liked other people post, but he jus never responded. i want to find someone that i can have fun with and look forward to talking too. atm i feel like i’m always sad. i can put on a smile but i’m always down. my friends are slowly leaving. as we grow we act differently. we barely text. i don’t leave my house no one shows up on my phone besides my sister and that’s only b vv we send eachother memes. but other than that i want friends i want someone to talk too. i want to experience high school relationships but i’m not outgoing. i feel like no one can see the new me on the other side of a screen. i cant even text someone without scaring them away. i don’t know what i am doing wrong to make boys not like me or even notice me. i hear the “jus be yourself” “there is someone there for everyone” I AM MYSELF. i don’t compare myself to others. i like what i like. i don’t change myself i’m natural. there is someone out there for me but i i want to find someone here who can show me a highschool relationship. no matter what i do i.. no one sees i may not that dream body. i may not be like the other girls with an hour glass figure but i have a personality. i’m funny i have humor i’m mostly sarcastic, i take nothing seriously, i like clothes i love fashion. we could have endless conversations. jus world tell me what am i doing wrong. am i not meant to experience love in highschool. i hate being known as the innocent one to my friends. i hate feeling lonely. i jus want to feel like someones priority so they talk to me and i can never feel lonely and sad. i’m sad too much. i want to laugh with someone else. i want to smile and hug someone. i act like i don’t need someone but i really do.