I’m a dirt ball

10 years and a 19 month old. I’m sick very sick(negative covid test). Wakes me up at 3 am to argue how I’m not good enough, I don’t do enough for him, with him. I work 8 hours a day and take care of our 18 month old. I also suffer from depression which he believes is non existent. He throws a 32 oz cup of ice cold water on me at 4 am, knowing sicker than a dog and so is out toddler. Calls me a dirt ball, tells me I don’t shower enough, I smell. I’m a dirt ball. I woke 8 hours a day from home while I care for our child, she wakes up every hour or so at night, so lately I’ve been trying to go to bed when she does. Cause I wake up between 4-5 AM because she won’t go back to sleep. I’m tired and I’m a dirt ball