That's so incredibly stressful. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that

We move in 18 days so I can not even decorate for Christmas. I really did not want another baby. The stress of trying to find a house that will let us keep our dog, that will fit our family and we can afford on top of our mortgage is enough. Now I get to deal with a 4th baby. I am 31 and was off birth control for 2 weeks and skipped a condom one day and now I am pregnant. It is just not a good time and I did not want to he pregnant at all.

Oh no! :( is there something you can do to make you feel better about it? I don't know you, but maybe if decorating the nursery for your other kids was fun you could try picking some decor ideas for this one? Or something like that to cheer you up.

Ah, I'm with you now. Not feeling anxious, but truly just the absence of excitement. I hope you can be gentle with yourself for your ambivalence and exhaustion! I can only imagine your life gets more complex with each child and it sounds so natural to me that your experience might shift like this. ♡

With my other kids I would be so excited for a scan. Or to go to the doctor to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler. This time it is just a pain in my ass to do it.

No. it is just standard testing. they do the blood draw and the scan to see if the spine and stuff is forming correctly. This pregnancy was just a surprise and I really did not want another child. I have 3 kids already. :(