I don’t want to make a lengthy post. It’s just been a year today since my father passed away.... this is my third baby on the way but first that he will not share with me.

I never knew him personally as I was adopted from an orphanage in South Africa and brought to Australia for a better life (I have been on my own since I was 13) I found him when I was 18 after all those years of searching.

I’m sad I never got to hug him. He died of a mixture of things. AIDS and sepsis etc etc. he didn’t get buried. I wasn’t with him. He hasn’t gotten to hold me and my kids. I miss his laugh. He was always so happy. He loved me so much. And I loved him so much. Even through his wrongs. I forgive him. How long will it take for the pain to go away? It hurts 🥺