Would you consider someone a bad friend for not saying anything about suspecting your child has a delay?

Question

I understand this is a very sensitive topic personally I’d rather have it pointed out to me, so I could get my child help (get pediatricians opinion/an evaluation/ early intervention). I ask because my husband and I are very close friends a couple who’s child seems to have an issue with communication/speech, sensory processing, or something else (we’ve noticed it increasingly over the last year and a half). Are we bad friends for not bringing it up? Would you be mad at someone who has experience and education in that field for not bringing it up? Or be thankful they respected parenting boundaries?

Accepted Answer

I mean I wouldn’t cause it seems kind of wrong to assume someone’s child has delays when you aren’t their doctor. Plus they could be privately getting it worked on and I’m sure it’s not encouraging to have people point out their child’s delays when they already know about it. Now if they came to me with the same concerns they were having, like chit chat amongst friends, then I would suggest to speak about it with their doctor and not be ashamed for getting help. If you suspect there is medical neglect then call CPS, but I wouldn’t just bring it up 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

That is between the parents and the child's doctor. No one else should be bringing up possible delays, especially considering children develop at different rates.

Answer

That doesn’t go over well with any parent whatsoever.

Answer

I suspected my husband's cousins kid had some sort of delay. Turns out he did. Luckily his teacher in his 3 year old daycare said something and he went for testing. I really felt it wasn't my place, and I'm not a processional in that field to say anything. Maybe if it were my sister or best friend I'd communicate my gut feeling easier. But in the event nothing is wrong, you could lose a friend too.

Answer

I feel like that’s between the parents and drs . Unless she was to bring it up to you I would just stay out of it . Our children are a sensitive subject . Just out of curiosity why do you feel this child has delays and how old is he or she ?

Answer

This is a tough one because no parent wants to hear something could be wrong with their child. I guess for me it depends on the way it’s said. My oldest has autism and my mom has always been the one to tell me I need to have him evaluated. She didn’t say she knew he had it or anything like that. She was telling me about autism and how there’s so many different forms. I started researching signs and finally talked to his doctor. She agreed and we had him evaluated.

Answer

I’m a child therapist. I’m 90% sure my friend’s child is on the spectrum. I would never bring it up unless she did first and asked for my opinion.

Answer

As a parent with a speech delayed child and a slight processing disorder, we know. It's always 10x more obvious when we're alone at home and behavior is worse. Family is probably already up their ass about it, they don't need a friend to say anything too. Just show them love and support.

Answer

Unless they were a medical professional in that field area and gave a professional opinion like “hey are you aware about this in ____, I would bring it up with his/her pediatrician. I am concerned ” 
If they aren’t in the medical field then no they should not say anything. Especially if they don’t work in that area with children.  Everyone loves to play doctor for some reason. People that google these things don’t have the answers either. 
At the end of the day it depends on the friendship because people will react differently.

Answer

I clicked yes but meant to click no. I’d be really irritated if one of my friends came to me and told me this. I’m sure they’re well aware of what’s going on with their child even more so than you are. If they want to share that with you, then they will when they’re ready. I’m sure the parents and the child’s pediatrician are making the best decisions for the child already.

Would you consider someone a bad friend for not saying anything about suspecting your child has a delay?

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