TW abuse & mental health mentioned- Family related vent.

I cut ties with my mom the other day. I had always wondered why my mother would pick fights with me and make me feel like I’m always wrong, but then make it ok for me to run back to her when I have a problem. My fiancé pointed out that my siblings and I have been groomed by her.

Long horrific story short; I was mentally and physically abused by my father. Mentally and emotionally by my mother. Molested by a cousin. Sexually assaulted by kids in school. I’m diagnosed bipolar 2, manic depression with severe social anxiety and PTSD. I have 2 younger siblings; 17 and 20. I’ll be 25 the 18th of December. We do NOT get along and have hate for one another. My mom would refer to either of us as our father when we’d be triggered and have aggressive and destructive outbursts. Therefore we have formed hate for each other. There are other factors my mother has formed to push us all apart and have us fighting against each other. As of now I have no siblings.

I’m mentally not ok today. The other day, my mother came and started shouting the overly repeated crap. ‘They (my siblings) don’t want anything to do with you because you remind them of your father’, ‘They only tell you what they think you want to hear (this is referring to when I have civil conversations with them)’. I could go on. My dad was on FaceTime and heard it all. My blood was boiling because it’s always his fault and mine.

My 17 year old sister is not ok and a walking internal scream for help. My brother told me he’s mentally not ok since having to go back to living with our mother. These upset me and yet I’m shut out. My siblings need help and she’d rather condone my sisters actions of depression and feed her medicine then acknowledge what she has turned my little sister into.

I have enraged hate for my mother. I hate this. It’s always boo-hoo mom. She hates that my brother and I talk to my dad given the past. I sat and physically spoke to my father in personal after 5.5 years apart. I’ve never seen him break down and cry and apologize so much like I did in October. I had never seen him so loving like I did then. We grew up with no fun, no I Love you’s, nothing that families are supposed to have and do. But my dad finally found it. And I found it with my fiancé. But my mother is still doing everything to ruin our lives.

I don’t know how I’ll mentally recover from this. Is it even possible?