Reused name??

Question

I need some opinions// advice. My husbands mom has said on multiple occasions that “his first daughter has to be named after his sister.” Little backstory, his sister was still born & this was a few years before he was even born. That being said he doesn’t have a huge emotional connection to his sister. I feel bad but I absolutely do NOT want to reuse the name. In a way I feel it’s like trying to replace his sister with our baby. Advice PLEASE. what do I say to his mom. What do I say to him. I’m at a loss. I don’t want to upset anyone

Accepted Answer

To put it bluntly, this mother doesn’t get a vote. It’s up to you and your husband to decide what to name your child

Answer

Does your husband want to use the name also? If not then I think it’s up to your husband to tell his mom that you two aren’t going to use the name. If he is wanting to use it then I’d see if he’s willing to compromise and use it as a middle name if you’re okay with that.

Answer

It’s not up to her but her son should tell her that. There’s likely to be less drama then

Answer

Would you be comfortable using it as a middle name? If not, you shouldn’t feel forced to use a name. It’s Your baby. You should be happy with the name you choose :)

Answer

I wouldn’t say a damn word, name MY baby whatever the hell my husband n I choose to, and let my husband deal with his mother. She lost her damn mind with that. I’m sorry for loss, but absolutely not.

Answer

Maybe rework the name into something similar or add as a middle name but I wouldn’t use it as a first name either.

Answer

Tell his mom you aren’t using the name. It’s not her choice.

Answer

As someone who’s had a stillborn I think the topic when talking to her should be handled delicately. As in have your husband, without you there, talk to his mom privately and tell her he understands why she feels this way but you both have decided to not use the name. Also, I personally think it’s a little much she’s automatically expecting you to use the name. I would never do that personally. But it would be very nice if you could incorporate it in a middle name somehow. When you have lost a baby like that it really does mean everything in the world to you to have that baby remembered and not forgotten and a lot of people don’t understand that if they haven’t went through it. And I’m not referring to miscarriage, I’m referring to giving birth to a stillborn.

Reused name??

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