I want to share my story in hopes to give someone hope that you will get through a miscarriage no matter how heartbroken you are at this moment. Do not give up ttc in the future when the time is right. 

Do don't proceed reading if you don't like TMI. 

My SO and I found out we were pregnant Easter weekend. Literally, the week previous we had both confirmed that we truly wanted to ttc. So in other words it was shocking to discover I was already pregnant. Unfortunately, we miscarried in May. I have a 5year old son and was surprised to learn that miscarriages occur even after having given birth previously. It took a toll on my body physically, mentally, and emotionally because I wasn't able to pass the miscarriage on my own. I was given medication to speed up the process. After losing track after passing 10 palm sized clots and having soaked through two pads every hour over the course of the evening I called the nurse line to see if this was normal. She stated I am bleeding profusely and should head to the ER. I wanted to opt out of having a D&C but it was the only option I had. It truly felt surreal the moment I stood up from the hospital bed because I felt another clot coming, I held my hand between my legs to refrain from it falling on the floor and I caught a clot that was so big it was oozing out of my hand. The expression on my loves face was one of hurt knowing he had no control over this happening and couldn't do anything to make it stop. Fast forward to after the D&C I couldn't have felt more empty. In some ways I didn't want the miscarriage to end because at least our baby was still apart of me in those moments. Has anyone else felt this way?

It took my body until September to fully get back to normal. I do swear by this app so those of you who are struggling ttc please don't give up and let me explain why. The first day of my last menstraul cycle was Feb. 23rd. I entered that in a <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">due date calculator</a> online and discovered my due date was November 30th 2015 and that I conceived on March 9th. I went back into the app and to my surprise realized that March 9th was the highest percentage date of ovulation which happened to be the only day during ovulation we had intercourse (I had logged it back in March) in my eyes that information is proof to Glow being quite accurate. (As long as you're doing you're logging and making sure dates match up) Our miscarriage has taught me patience. I know we'll be pregnant again when our time comes. It's normal to sit and wonder what sex your baby would have been, who he/she would have looked like, what it'd feel like to hold them, who they could have turned out to be when they grew up. I like to think our angel was too beautiful for earth and one day we shall meet. Right now, I am content knowing we both want to try to conceive while at the same time we're not trying religiously but instead going with the flow and remembering that when our time comes God will bless us with our bundle of joy. Although, we will never quite be able to grasp the cause of miscarriages try your best not to blame yourself. If you're religious or have a higher power (my apologies if you're not) I tell myself it's on Gods time, not mine. My due date would have been next Monday and instead of drowning in our sorrows we are going to celebrate our baby and gain some closure my letting go of a blue and pink balloon and watching them fly high in the sky! Hold your heads up high because you now have a guardian angel watching over you. Rest in paradise to all the unborn angels.