I honestly have to force myself to not hope for anything every month, now. Being hopeful and having those hopes dashed is just too painful to do again. I'm not giving up entirely but it hurts too much to know there's no reason anything will be different this month, so I just stomp down any hope because its at least a little easier to get my period like clockwork when I was already expecting it...

I feel wistful seeing all these women get excited over starting ttc, how excited and energetic they are to be in the tww. I feel jealous seeing people get their bfps within months of starting their journey. Its truly just such a hollow feeling to be 3 years into ttc with nothing to show for it.