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This is postpartum depression. I am so sorry.
I just feel so alone...
Currently crying in the bathroom... I’ve dealt with anxiety since my freshman year in high school (going on 7 years) I was doing really good managing it when I was pregnant with our 2nd baby. But since having him I’ve been struggling... he just turned 2 months and I feel so unhappy and alone... I hate the way I feel... I literally snap at everyone and everything, I feel so alone, I can’t take even a 10 minute shower in peace, and I just feel like I’m drowning... I broke down about a week ago and told my husband how I am feeling... he seemed to be considerate and that day he let me go out by myself for a walk. Then it was like back to the old ways the rest of this week... he says he’s “trying” but literally he thinks doing the dishes before HE leaves to go hunting is helpful... I don’t want to be alone... All I do everyday is nurse my son and TRY to take care of our toddler which is pretty much impossible... I don’t feel like anything other than a mom... I just am so angry at my husband... he isn’t even working right now (laid off for the winter) but yet he leaves to go hunting at least 4 days out of the week and he’s gone for 5-8 hours each of those days... I’m lucky to shower alone once every 3 days... and I’m rushing the whole time because our son is crying. My husband says he can’t get our son to calm down and always is comparing him to how our daughter was. “Our daughter NEVER cried like this” “our daughter always loved the swing” “our daughter never needed to be held 24/7” I’m so sick of him comparing our son to our daughter... they are 2 different kids he is his own person and yes he is a lot fussier than our daughter was but figure it the f*** out I have to... I’ve just been crying literally all the time and my kids don’t deserve this... I have so much to be happy for and I love my babies so much... I just don’t know what to do... my husband wants me to get on Zoloft again but I hate how it makes me feel... I tried to explain to him that it makes me feel weird and that a pill doesn’t just solve “everything” but it’s like he doesn’t hear me out... I set up an appointment for counseling but it’s a televisit and I couldn’t get in until the end of january... I just am so tired of feeling like this and I don’t know why... idk what wrong with me... I never felt this sad and angry and upset when I had my daughter... idk if it’s ppd idk what it is... If your still reading this is there any advice... is anyone else struggling... I just feel so alone...
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I have a 10 month old and an almost 3 year old as well as a 16 year old who's doing virtual school at home. I usually cry at some point during the day. My toddler is so hyper all the time and my 10 month old is in the needy stage. Its so hard to deal with all of it daily. I'm bipolar and on medication and I was also diagnosed with ppd. I took Prozac for that and it's a lot better now. I was able to get their naps in sync so I have some time to take a nap or do some guided meditation (this has helped me so much with stress) I recommend looking up some guided meditations on youtube! When I get really overwhelmed I put my 2 year old in his high chair and put on an educational cartoon and my 10 month old in his little "baby jail" lol an enclosed baby gate with toys and books in it and I go take a couple minutes to myself just to breathe and get myself back together. Being a mom is so hard! I think you should talk to your Dr about your anxiety and stress. They may put you on some meds for ppd. I know its hard right now but just know that it will pass and you will feel better! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
Yeah. This was me. I have a toddler and a now 4 month old baby. I had/have post partum depression. What you're describing is definitely PPD. I think medication is necessary and speaking to a therapist or psychologist that knows PPD. If zoloft isn't helpful get on different meds. Having said that your husband is rude/selfish and unhelpful. He needs to get his act together and help 50/50. I can't imagine how I'd feel if my husband had not been supportive. Please know that you are not alone and your feelings are common and your struggle understandable. Seek professional help and get the medical staff to explain how serious /uncontrollable PPD is. Best of luck.
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