This house don’t feel like home

I don’t know if I can do this anymore. My fiancé treats me good one minute and like crap the next 10. He makes jokes all the time about my weight or my intelligence and when I call him out on it, he gets mad and goes “god I can’t even play with you anymore”. He’s told me I’m a shell of a person and he’s right, I feel myself being that way. He gets upset if I want to do anything for myself or go see my sister or friends. He goes through all of my things. My purse, my car, everything. I want to start journaling but don’t feel like I can do that without him trying to go through it.

I just want to be whole again. I love him so much. My family all wants me to leave him and just focus on myself and my daughter, but I’ve been with him for almost 6 years. It’s been rocky the whole time but I love him. We have tried therapy and it doesn’t work so I’m just in solo counseling now. I don’t have self worth. I hate my life (aside from my daughter) yet I’m constantly trying to make his better and just when I see him trying too, he does some other narcissistic thing to hurt me. I can’t even shower alone without him thinking I’m being shady.

I have no money saved. I can’t fathom leaving but I don’t think I can stay for much longer. My 20s should not feel this way...

Anyways I have no one to talk to so I’m trying to find some hope here 🤍