1 Upvote
Comment
If you’ve decided he gets to pick (which I find silly, considering your dietary restrictions) give him a list of acceptable places to choose from. I assume you’re paying? If you are, then that’s it. He chooses from a list of acceptable choices.If he’s paying, let him order what he wants on his dime, and then you and your husband order something from somewhere else on yours.I agree with you that it’s inconsiderate behavior on their part if they are fully aware of your dietary concerns.
Celiacs disease and Drama it Brings
Hello everyone!!!
So I have celiacs disease, been diagnosed for almost 8 years now, I don’t have much issue with with following the diet. I am not sick all the time and legit feel a million times better than I used to but I have a slight issue that I wonder if anyone else who has food issues (allergy, sensitivity etc) has run into this.
To make a long story short both my husbands parents have passed away, his mother used to make sure I could eat things and was always considerate so was his father. He has 2 younger brothers, one who lives out of state and the other who lives here. I have always had a good relationship with them (I think) but every time we get together to either order out or go out to eat they always insist on going to/ordering places that I can’t eat anything from.
I can’t eat salads bc raw vegetables(especially lettuce or spinach) hurt my stomach. I had a lot of damage from the years of eating what I shouldn’t have been (obviously since I did not know it was the wheat hurting me) so that leaves my choices at a lot of places to nothing.
I feel really hurt by this because they are fully aware of my issue, they have fiends who have the same thing as me and I have been with my husband for almost 13 years, they were around when I got really sick and had the testing done. Ones fiancé is a nurse and her best friend has the same thing so it’s not like they don’t understand this.
Since their parents have passed I do go out of my way to make elaborate holiday meals, done what their mom used to do but the past year has been rough. I had lost my job in the summer and it’s taken me a while to find something that works (thankfully I found an amazing place) but I am adjusting to a new work schedule and my husband and I both are recovering (about 2 weeks out) from covid. We decided that we were not going to do anything major but do a small get together and order out. Well the one is coming from out of state so he always gets to pick where we eat and it’s seems like the nights he’s with us it’s always one of the few places locally that either doesn’t have a gluten free menu or I don’t trust bc I have gotten sick from them.
How can I bring this up without sounding like a brat? So I just suck it up and go back to cooking these meals so at least I know I am safe? Does anyone else deal with this?
118
views • 1
upvote • 7
comments
COMMENT (7)
Mr
I honestly think it is a big deal, and you deserve to treat it as such! There’s no reason for you to be excluded from meals - there are plenty of choices available that can work for everyone. I think if you’re paying, you deserve to be fully included.
Mo
We do end up paying, mostly bc we are the finically stable ones and my husband just goes with the flow, he doesn’t rock the boat ever so he won’t say anything. I get like it’s not a huge deal, but I just feel very left out. I really hope when (if) we have kids they don’t get this from
I don’t have celiacs but I have severe food allergies to a wide variety of foods which makes my diet limited. In my experience, most people aren’t intentionally being inconsiderate, they usually just forget since it’s not something they have to deal with on the daily. My own mother forgets sometimes lol. So if I was in your situation, I would let them order out whatever they wanted and if I couldn’t have it, I’d just make something myself or order from somewhere else. I don’t like to bring attention to my allergies but my husband has no problem saying something if someone suggests something I can’t eat. Has he tried to remind them of your food sensitivities? Like I know if my BIL suggested something I couldn’t have my husband would definitely say something. Sorry you’re dealing with this, it makes social situations really hard sometimes.
Mo
My husband really doesn’t say much, he really doesn’t get why I feel the way I do bc I just eat later or make something when we get hoem
Yes, I very much deal with that kind of thing a lot, but I've let it isolate me sometimes. I usually just bring my own food everywhere I go- my mom has a gluten sensitivity too, but I have a lot more things I can't have (same with no raw veggies, no garlic, no a lot of stuff I used to be able to eat.) I was very seriously ill before I was told to stop eating gluten. So my stomach is also trashed. My mom isn't as sensitive to cross contamination. I have sometimes been VERY sensitive, to the point I can't have gluten in my makeup or be around flour because I get flulike symptoms from breathing it in. Anyway, I understand. It sucks to be left out, or have too do everything yourself. I don't even like trying to order food from places, it feels so complicated and then I sometimes still get sick from it. It sucks ass. I don't know what I'll have on Christmas, I know I can't have anything my family is making. I'll either bring something or just wait to eat when I go back home. (It is a small socially distanced gathering, with masks.)Also, was covid bad for you? I've been wondering how people with similar health conditions to me did with it? My parents had it pretty bad, but I get some illnesses much worse than them so I'm full on hiding in the house.
Mo
Covid was hell. I just got my smell back a little and my taste is still muted. It was like having the flu,bronchitis, and a sinus infection at the same time. Honestly I will take anything over having this again, we both were down so hard. It took a full 2 weeks to be able to move around normally and we still have some moments of pure exhaustion. I am lucky my dad as celiacs as well so don’t I have to worry about stuff with my family but it just makes me feel not apart of the family especially when his ones cousins wife is allergic to soy and dairy and people bed over backwards for her when it comes to things regarding what she can have. The thing I think they bugs me the most is my husband just doesn’t get why I feel that way, but he doesn’t have an issue like this so I don’t really expect him to understand it because you can’t fully understand something like this unless you are going through it. I am lucky my system isn’t so sensitive that I can find things at a lot of restaurants and we have a few amazing places that cater to gluten free done right and safe.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
