Negative test & unwanted period

I found myself cry this morning after dropping off my son at daycare. My heart feels broken. My period is starting & I got negative tests this weekend. I was sure December was going to be my month. But sadly, it wasn’t so. I have been telling myself all year as we got prepared to try again it could take time or even a few rounds of Femara to get pregnant again. Trying to convince myself it is true so I wouldn’t feel like this. It took 5 years, several miscarriages & an ectopic pregnancy to get to my son. After two rounds of Femara my son came I to our lives. Best thing to ever happen to me. I feel so sad and depressed to be reaching to my T.O.M. Box once again. I don’t understand. I feel like I did everything right. Why do I always have such a hard time. Thank you for reading. I just needed to get this out before it drove me crazy. Baby dust to all!