Not meant to be?

We are currently trying for our last baby..

Our oldest is my husbands from a previous relationship and we have two together, so this would be our 4th... Our second took us well over a year to concieve (I believe it was due to me receiving the Depo shot 😡) Our third we concieved month 2 of trying! So I figured it'd take a few months of trying but thought for sure with out a doubt we'd be pregnant by the end of the year.. we are now reaching month 6 ttc and the end of the year.. I'm feeling defeated 😕 I know it takes healthy couples 6-12 months but still, I'm surprised with my body! I know I shouldn't be especially since we are still in the "normal" range but I am, after conceiving our 3rd so quickly and believing that the Depo hindered us concieving our 2nd, I just figured #4 would be on their way in no time- much like #3 was!

I'm having a really hard time knowing if this means a fourth isn't meant for our family and we are truly complete and I just didn't realize it?

Ugh my thoughts start to take over, the amount of thought I put into a 4th before ttc was insane and now I feel I may have been wrong and it just isn't meant for us 😭😭😭

Ugh! End rant.. I just needed it out. ❤