I have never in my life experienced this level of anxiety where it is preventing me from doing something and moving forward. It caught me off guard! I am now sitting here with scrambled brain trying to apply for school because anxiety prevented me from asking for recommendations, prevented me from starting the application, prevented me from writing anything coherent. What the hell is THIS? It’s freaking me out. At this point my biggest fear is being stuck here and not being able to move forward and the clock is ticking, I’m getting older. I get these thoughts WHILE I’m trying to progress that say “I’m not gonna get accepted anyway. Everyone will know I just threw this together last minute. I’m not as prepared for school as I’d like everyone to think” and then I STOP close my lap and take a break that turns into like a week. And when I come back to the anxiety is WORSE because I’m running out of time and I wasted so much time avoiding it! I’ve tried deep breathing, meditation, making lists, thought challenging and rationalizing, herbal tea, and CBD. All of this is temporary because later on that night or the next day I’m right back where I started! WTH? How can I want this so bad and not be doing everything I can to get it done. What is happening to me? Also I don’t get panic attacks, I never have. Last time I was this anxious I was like 20 years old and I dealt with it by crying and running out of class. But since then, NOTHING. Until now. I don’t think it’s worth seeing a professional or meds because it is situational not chronic. How do I deal with this? It’s driving me NUTS. I can’t even focus which is why I am in an app right now and not completing my application