How to be there for someone going through miscarriage ?

Question

My friend had a miscarriage last night and she’s very upset about, as well as me. She was 6 weeks pregnant. This was going to be her first baby at age 28 and we were very excited! I don’t know the words to tell her as I’ve never dealt with a situation like it before. I’m also 38 weeks pregnant and scared to discuss my pregnancy with her because I don’t want her to feel bad. She was supposed to come to hospital with me when I have my baby but now I’m afraid to ask her to still come because I know it would hurt her! How do I deal with this and be there for her?

Answer

Be there to listen and remember. No, this didn't happen for a reason, God didn't need another flower in his garden, no she can't just "have another baby", this wasn't just what was meant to be, no, she doesn't "at least know she can get pregnant". No at least no justifying. Miscarriage is a real death of a real child that really hurts. If the baby has a name, use it. Remember the anniversary and be extra supportive in the years to come. Everyone grieves differently, give her the room to grieve how she needs to.
Great on you for being a supportive friend thru this for her. Shes gonna hear some horrible shit in the future because of this and your support is a blessing.

Answer

Bring her meals, fold her laundry, just listen to her.

Answer

As a woman that went through two mc’s along with being by a friend’s side for her’s when I hadn’t had one...show her love and understanding.  She has to grieve her hopes and dreams of that baby. I wouldn’t bring up your pregnancy until she does and don’t take offense if she needs space from you. Seeing your baby’s growth physically and soon arriving could be hard for her.  Everyone grieves differently and in due time.

Answer

Just listen. After my chemical pregnancy I had family tell me things such as, well at least you know you can get pregnant, at least it was early, there was obviously something wrong with the baby, you will have another baby soon, and everything happens for a reason. Those comments did not make me feel better, in actuality they hurt me so so much and made me more depressed that I was originally. I found that just support, friends that would spend time with me, and those who offered their condolences was the most supportive and helpful.￼￼￼

Answer

Just be there for her. Offer support but don’t badger her. Tell her you understand if she doesn’t want to go to the hospital, but that you would still enjoy her company. Don’t push her but don’t treat her completely different either. I was that girl. My best friend and I got pregnant at the same time. I lost mine and she went on to have a beautiful baby boy. The baby shower and birth were hard for me, but I still wanted to be there. I still loved that baby boy and wanted to support my friend. I actually found out I was pregnant again just days after he was born.

Answer

Ask her what she needs and let her know she can be honest - some people want to talk, some don't. Some will still be excited for a friend's baby, some find it too painful. Just make sure she knows she can tell you and that you'll respect any way she feels.

How to be there for someone going through miscarriage ?

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