Thanksgiving Rants

I hate my boyfriends stepbrothers they always "joked" about him cheating on me & my boyfriend is the best man to not do it. 
But I got to a huge argument with him about him going cause he lives in a pretty bad city (we live with my parents 30 mins away from his home city) but I didn't want him to go, I don't want him to leave we live together but I still miss him even when he goes to work. Anyways, I was screaming & cursing at him do just leave (I was mad he was leaving I just wanted him to stop asking me "why I'm mad?"), anyways a couple more minutes I calmed down we made up & he left I'm in tears because he left. I'm just always scared somethings going to happen him. Idk what my life would be without my man. But I'm still upset & tearing up. It's just our son and me in the house. I wanted to spend time with him I just knew for awhile he wanted to go to his stepbrothers house for thanksgiving but I couldn't tell him no.