My boyfriend is almost perfect. I work full time and he has a part time work from home gig so he helps out a lot with household things and does it all without asking. He’ll cook for me, do dishes, laundry, feed the dog, take trash out, etc. when i’m tired from work.

He supports my goals and dreams, he loves my daughter from a previous relationship as his own, gets along with my family, he cuddles me all the time, takes care of me. He’s the best partner i’ve ever had. were best friends. everything is so perfect except for this issue.

Except i found out a while ago he went on omegle and started talking to random girls and got nudes from them. He said he wouldn’t do it again and yet every now and then i look through his shit because i get paranoid and occasionally i find that he downloaded kik or something. Once i found he was talking to this girl on a secret instagram and got nudes from her. None of these girls i don’t think he knows in person. they’re all random from the internet. although one time it said he downloaded tinder but he said it was an accident?? and he deleted it. he also deletes the kik accounts and snapchat’s after he makes them and gets what he wants from those random girls. I just feel so torn. He’s so perfect and good for me in every other way. Idk why the fuck he does this. Like we have a good sex life too. So it’s not that.

Why aren’t I enough. One time he used the excuse we were fighting and he was afraid i was cheating and he was manic (he has bipolar) so that’s why he did it. But he’s been on meds for his bipolar for a few months now and we haven’t been fighting and i’ve still found evidence of him doing it. like maybe he just enjoys the extra attention??

Do i just stop going through his shit and ignorance is bliss? Or do i just leave him. Because it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna stop. I tell myself if i ever found out he cheated physically i’d leave him but i wish i could just trust him fully. i even told him if he gets the urge to do stuff like that online to just come talk to me about it and id talk through why he wants to do it instead of him doing it and hiding it from me. idk what to do. it hurts. we have a whole life together. i don’t want it to end i just wish he would stop. and i can’t even confront him about it without admitting i literally dig through his phone and his ipad and everything like a psycho.