Son wants to graduate early and take a year off from school. Mom thoughts?

Question

As you read in the title my husbands son (our son) wants to graduate early so he will be 17 years old. Which is great but the thing is that he wants to work full time and not further his education. He didn’t do well in high school so he needs to attend a community college for 2 years before trying to even send an application to a 4 year college. He’s mentioned before how he thinks college is stupid and he isn’t sure we wants to do it. Which is fine every kid has a right to choose what they do. I’m more worried that if he takes a year break he won’t go to college. We kind of discussed making him pay a small “rent” fee like $500 a month to make him know that yes you can take a break and yes your teenager but working brings in other responsibilities. What do you moms think? We obviously have no idea how to handle this situation. 
My fear is he will get too comfortable working and living with his parents and not want to adult.. or better himself.

Answer

If he wants to work and stay in your home, make him “pay bills.” I’d figure out what percentage and then sit down with him and let him know what his portion is going to be every month. That way he learns how to actually pay bills and budget his money, aka learning real life adult skills that he won’t learn in college. 
Unless you actually need the help with the bills, start a bank account and out that money in there every month and then give it back to him when he’s ready to move out. So he can move into a place on his own and feel secure doing so. 
College isn’t for everyone and these days a degree does not ensure you a job the way it used to. It’s not at all a bad idea to get some real world experience and figure out what he really wants to do, and then in the future go to college if he needs to for the career he wants OR he’ll be ahead of his peers with a few years of experience in the work force.

Answer

Maybe take the monthly rent he gives you during this year and put it into a savings account. At the end of the year, tell him he can have the money saved up if it goes towards college/living expenses or he can move out without iymt if he choses not to. Makes a good incentive to go while teaching him responsibility along the way.
Theres a chance he wont want to go back to school.. but theres also a chance he will burn out if you make him go against his wishes 🤷 maybe presenting it as the more rewarding option will help him see it in a positive light.

Answer

I wish I would have taken a year break after high school. Instead I jumped right into college and I hated it. I failed so many classes and ultimately ended up dropping out and got myself into some rough shit. Roughly 2 years later after all the bullshit I put myself through, I willingly went back to college and this past year I graduated with my associates degree. I never wanted to go for my bachelors but I’m doing that now, too! I say give him the break and support him while he’s doing it. I think a little support would have went a long way in my case.

Answer

Have you talked about trade schools with him? It may be better for him. Ask him what he wants to do with his life and help him find ways to reach that goal. Not everyone's meant for college and that's okay

Answer

My economics class really taught us a valuable lesson about money. We had to search for a real job in the newspaper, find an apartment and figure out how much we would need for rent/utilities, other bills, car, insurance, etc. and ALL of us underestimated how much all of that would cost😅 kids tend to think it’s not as bad as it is, so I would try to give him a “budgeting” lesson. Also, I took 2 years off after high school because I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do, just knew I’d had a job since I was 16 and wanted to keep working. I actually became an apprentice in the laborers union before my 20th birthday and was a journeyman a few months before I turned 23! Now I’m set in my career with great benefits, a retirement and more money than I would’ve thought I could make at this age! I’m really big on advertising trade schools/apprenticeships because a lot of people don’t know how great they are

Answer

I’d ask him what the point of taking a year off to work is for? Why not go to community college AND work? What is he even going to work as? I assume he has no training for any kind of profession or skill at the moment so he’s just gonna take off to work an hourly job? I’d be very concerned and unhappy if it was my kid. What’s he going to do with the money he makes? Save it or spend it?  If he’s really adamant about not going to college and you’re okay with that, then I would advise to, at the very least, explain to him that he needs to figure out a trade that he wants to learn and get a job in that field for that year. Then he should start trade school after his year off and should use the money he paid during this year to pay for it. This at least gives him a goal and a purpose for this “time off”. But to just let my child work an hourly job for a year when he should be in college... no way would I be okay with that.

Answer

He does need to make a decision on his own. College is not for everyone, I never went and I have a great job in Medical. I'd lower the rent a bit, and give him at least a month to get a full-time job. After he has started start collecting then save to use for either college if he does go or moving out. Make sure he knows there is still responsibility at home, especially once you have graduated.

Answer

I mean if he could get a good paying job not going to college.. obviously that’s mostly labor jobs though. I think that will just be his choice you have to accept. I’d rather my kid find a good paying job that they work hard for than go to college and not even try, maybe fail and waste money. Because that was me. I was never good in school, I tried college and it just didn’t work for me. But I went technical school and I’m doing okay working for myself. And I’d only make my kid pay rent as a way to teach them bills but I’d save that money so they can put a down payment for a house or something when you think he’s responsible enough. My boyfriend never went to college and he makes almost $30 an hour. He was good about saving money and would put like $400 away as if it was like he was paying rent(obviously he knew it was way more than that) but then by the time he was 21 he used what he saved as a down payment and bought a house.

Son wants to graduate early and take a year off from school. Mom thoughts?

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