I'm just now coming to terms that I'm the toxic one in my relationship and i hate it. To make it long story short ever since ive been with my man things have mostly been good but i have the habit of when im mad and he didnt do something i like for example communicate further on something or make more effort with me, i get short with him with my text responses, i leave him on read or i lash out and basically tell him I'm leaving him. Just typing that makes me sick bc i dont know why i act like that. I dont know if this has anything to do with it but i come from a narcissist mom and i guess bc she feels the need ro have that control i need to do the same in a relationship? I dont want to be the one hurt so i make sure i do it first. I also always think in the future and nor in the present. When things are good between him and i its really good but I get in my head that it wont last long or something bad will happen. We have been knowing each other for a year and i dont even remember how i was in the beginning all I remember is how i am now and how i effect him. I showed my toxic traits to him yesterday and I let my emotions get in the way of us seeing each other. I was mad at him so i ignored him after a while then texted him short answers and to top it off when i wasn't getting a response i wanted i told him im leaving. I guess what made me wake up is when he said one day he'll stop replying or answering my calls when i say that to him. I realized (or maybe forgot) that he's human too and this is definitely stressful having to deal with. I aways expect him to be on my time but i know he has a lot on his plate but i still act selfish about things. I just want to know how i can stop being the toxic one. I unfortunately live at home and feel like my toxic household would have an effect on my relationship base on how o handle things but i dont want what's happening to me to be passed on someone else i care about. How do i find my own peace within myself? I dont have friends either and i know that's definitely another factor but i have a friends bumble account and hoping i will make some soon